Daily Archives: September 25, 2009

Quality street

God save the Queen
and quad bikes
and quadrilateral triangles
and quadratic equations
and quadrophonic hifi
and quince
and quills
and quelling rebellions
and quaffing ale
and quenching thirst
and quail
and quibbling
and Quality Street
and querrulousness
and quacking
and Quavers
and quangos
and quorn
and quickness
and quivering
and quotable quotes
and quorums
and quips
and queries
and Quakers
and quoits

and even Kwikfit fitters
(despite the spelling)
because there’s something
about ‘kwa …’
that drives me
quazy

17 September 2009

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Stop w(h)ining …

It’s communion, Jim, but not as we know it
The bread is still there but the wine has now gone
Official instructions are rather hotchpotch
The wine’s for the vicar, and we get to watch

While we worship the Lord with hymns loud and anthemic
The bishops are worried we’re spreading pandemic
We don’t all want swine flu, it’s a pig of a bug
So don’t you dare kiss in the Peace, or go hug
Handshakes are dangerous, so make do with a shrug

Never mind that the Bibles are passed hand to hand
Why the chairs haven’t been swabbed, I don’t understand
And then there’s the newssheets and door handles too
All viable ways to share in the flu

If it gets too much worse they may make us stay home
And watch Songs of Praise till we’re blue in the face
So let’s give them one big liturgical groan
We’ve had it with law so let’s hear it for grace

Next we’ll have Britain’s Got Swine Flu
with Cat Deeley
Maybe it’s just a plot to stop church
getting too touchy feely

August 2009

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There is a first time for everything

There is a first time for everything
Everything has a first time
Is time a first – for everything?
Time: first there is everything
Everything first, for there is time
A time is for everything, first
First time – there is everything
Everything time. Is there a first?

This poem has been sentenced
To death.

17 September 2009

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Untitled

Tony Blair
Tony Benn
Tony Booth

Toni Basil
Tony Bennett
Tony Jacklin

Toe knee
Knee toe
Rigatoni

Woolly jumper – overtones
Halfwits – semitones
Feargal Sharkey – Undertones

Old school – sepia tones
Old tech – Binatone
Old amp – tone dial

Steady drone – monotone
Reedy drone – Casiotone

Tony Hancock
Tinny tannoy makes Kiri Ti Kanawa sound like Tiny Tim

This has been a Tone poem

17 September 2009

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Filed under poems for adults