10 election pledges I’d vote for

1 No gargling after 7.30am
2 All root vegetables served with dinner to be carved into amusing shapes
3 Hat doffing classes available as part of adult education
4 No hopping on Bank Holidays
5 Cashpoint screens to also offer Space Invaders
6 All cars to be made amphibious by 2015
7 Football managers made to learn English as an obligatory second language
8 Thwacking balloons with rolled up newspaper to be an Olympic sport
9 Tax concessions for cheese restaurants
10 On the spot fines for people who smirk on public transport

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Sprung

Written for Spring Poetry at Worthing Library on 26 March 2010

Sprung

Spring?
Sprung
MPs?
Bung
Trapeze artist?
Highly strung
Honey trap?
Spies stung
Silage company opens Chinese restaurant
Hoo Flung Dung
Bring and Buy?
What have you brung?
New jeans,  no hips
Low slung

Spring?
It’s a sneaky thing
Crocuses first then the daffs came late
It’s a melody we love to sing
but it’s sung

Ding dong
ping pong
Spring
has
sprung

25 March 2010